


Let me be the one that holds you

by FabulousMoose



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek is being creepy and cute, Fluff and Angst, Freeform Sterek, Hurt/Comfort, Kate is not here, M/M, Nogitsune Trauma, She's not allowed to be here, Traumatized Stiles, derek is there for stiles, post season 3B
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-04-06
Packaged: 2018-01-18 09:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1423234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabulousMoose/pseuds/FabulousMoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was Derek who had brought him back.</p><p>***</p><p>“You’re wrong” Derek said avoiding eye contact. His voice was deep. “You have Scott, Melissa, Isaac and Lydia” Derek swallowed. “And you also have me” Derek looked at him again and Stiles held his breath. He felt something in his chest that he didn’t have felt in a long time. He wanted to kiss Derek Hale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let me be the one that holds you

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in English, so I just wanted to say sorry for the possible mistakes. Any correction is welcome! Thanks and enjoy. You can also find me [here](http://you-dont-shoot-bambi-jackass.tumblr.com)

He couldn’t stay there anymore. He didn’t want to.

The pain in his chest was drowning him internally, but not as much as the guilty. 

He closed his eyes a few moments and took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears. His father gave him a gentle squeeze on the arm. Stiles opened his eyes and looked at him.

 

Then he looked at Scott, who was holding Kira’s hand with tears in his face. He looked at Isaac, who just looked lost. He was pale with dark circles under his eyes. Mr. Argent looked serious. Like it was his job to be serious. He hadn’t shown any emotions since...that night. He could understand it though. He was a hunter, he was used to lose people. But this was Allison’s funeral. His daughter. The only family he had. 

 

Stiles bit his bottom lip to contain the cry in his throat. He breathed deeply again and looked around him. 

All he saw were sad faces. But the worst was Lydia’s. Her crying was like millions of knives stabbing him in his stomach, just as the Nogitsune did. 

 

_It wasn’t his fault,_ they said _. It wasn’t him._

 

Next to Lydia was Jackson, who had traveled from London back to Beacon Hills three days after Allison’s death. He was holding Lydia, comforting her. But it was okay. Jackson comforting Lydia was okay.

 

He couldn’t do it anyway. 

 

His body started to shake. He was losing control again.

He looked at his hands and they were full of blood. The blood of the innocent people the Nogitsune killed. Not only Allison’s. His heart started to beat very fast.

“Stiles?” whispered his father. 

“I can’t” muttered the boy. 

“Breathe” 

“I can’t” said with fear in his voice. He shook his head. He couldn’t have a panic attack. Not there. He had to leave. 

Without thinking, he left. He didn’t stop when his father and Scott screamed his name. He ran away.

But not far away. 

 

Stiles stood in front of his mother’s grave. Then he wrapped his arms around himself while his knees fell on the ground. He felt an oppression in his chest. He barely could breathe.

_Put it together, Stilinski_ , he ordered himself.

“Stiles” he didn’t need to look to know who was behind him. “It’s okay, Stiles” he said softly. 

“No, it isn’t” answered Stiles shaking his head. “It’s not okay, Derek” He covered his face with his hands and let the tears out.

“You will be” Derek said as he touched Stiles shoulder. Comforting him.

 

** xx. **

 

Two weeks later Stiles was in his room, lying in his bed. It was late, but he couldn’t sleep. The nightmares didn’t let him. 

It kind of felt like what happened after the Nemeton. With the exception that this time he knew what’s real and what’s was just his mind screwing up with him. He woke up screaming, crying. 

This time it was all in his mind. It was himself. He knew his father was worried. Even more, after what had happened. Scott and Isaac wanted to help too, but what could they do? Besides, he couldn’t look at them in the face. Not yet. And that had hurt Scott, because he was pack, or so said his friend. But Stiles just wasn’t prepared. 

 

Knowing he would not be allowed to sleep until a couple of hours later, Stiles got out of bed and went to the kitchen. His father was working at the police station that night. 

 

Stiles wasn’t hungry, but he ate the remains left over from dinner. He was quickly lost in his own thoughts. 

 

In those two weeks, the guilt phase had passed. His mind was clear, but emotionally? He felt broken and empty. 

He had a trauma, had Deaton said. Somehow, he felt like when he was 8 years and his mom had just died. 

He hadn’t felt anything. Just broken and empty.

The difference was that he had had Scott then and that made it a little bit easier. But now, not even Scott could help him. Stiles was in the middle of a whirlwind. How was he supposed to be the same boy again? He just couldn’t. It was as inside him, everything was upside down. The Nogitsune used him. It manipulated him and the people he cared about. Hurt them. Killed them. How could he forget that?

He had been weak, not strong enough to fight. What would happen next time?

 

Stiles came back to reality when his mind started to become darker. He was again in the kitchen.

He put the food again in the fridge and went back to his room. 

And someone was sitting on the bed when he came in. 

Stiles didn’t move, though he should have had screamed or felt a bit of fear. Neither of them said anything. They just looked at each other. 

“So,” said Stiles breaking the silence. “Is there any reason why you're here, or you’re just being creepy again?” Derek raised his eyebrows but didn’t answer. Stiles rolled his eyes before he crossed his arms. “Why are you here, Derek?” he asked again. 

“You couldn’t sleep” Derek said instead.

“Yeah, well, not now with you creeping around” Stiles said with sarcasm.

“Your father told me to keep an eye on you while he was working” Stiles frowned. 

“You’re joking, right? I don’t need a babysitter. Since when you and my dad are best buddies? And why the hell do you care?! ” He felt suddenly angry towards Derek. 

“He’s just been worried, Stiles. The last weeks have been...tough” Derek stood up from the bed and took a few steps until he was in front of him.

“You don’t say?” Stiles sighed, closing his eyes “Sorry. I guess I’m just tired”

“It’s okay” Stiles tried to smile but it ended up being a sad grin. “And I do care about you” He opened his eyes and look right into Derek’s eyes. He would not deny that the answer had surprised him. He cared about Derek too. But that was completely a different story.

“It’s not okay, but thanks” Derek nodded slightly. They stayed in silence, without looking away. Stiles didn’t know how, but Derek was very close to him. He could feel the warmth of his body.

“I should let you sleep” Derek murmured but all Stiles could do was look at his lips. _Stay_ , Stiles wished he could say but then Derek stepped away from him and went to the window. “You know that I have a door, right?” Derek smiled. A real smile and Stiles didn’t know what to do about that. 

But that wasn’t the worse. 

“I know” Derek had answered opening the window “But you like me being all creepy, right?” and without letting Stiles time to answer, he disappeared in the middle of the night. 

Stiles stood there a few minutes, a little bit confused but he couldn’t help smiling. 

“Right” he whispered before he went to bed and slept. 

 

He didn’t have nightmares the rest of the night.

 

**xxx.**

 

After a month, things started to become normal again. Or as normal as Beacon Hill could afford. Stiles talked to Scott, Isaac and Lydia again. Even with Jackson, who was going to live in town again.

Stiles also started to hang out with Derek. They went to see movies together, ate pizza or just spend time together at Stiles’. 

It was Derek who had brought him back.

 

It happened one week after that night in Stiles’ room. 

Stiles had had a fight with his dad about a stupid thing that he couldn’t even remember. He left the house and took his jeep. He drove as fast as he could, not looking behind. 

Though, he had the bad luck to forget that the tank wasn’t full and the jeep just died. He was on the road, in the middle of the forest without his phone. Stiles got out of the car and started to walk back to Beacon Hills.

 

It didn’t take too much until a car stopped next to him. 

“Get in” Derek ordered. Stiles frowned.

“Stalking, dude. That’s not cool” But he did as the werewolf said and he sat in the passenger's seat. 

“My dad’s sending you?” he asked. Derek did not say anything but that was enough to Stiles. 

“I’d tell you. I don’t need a babysitter” he said irritated. “I don’t even know why we were arguing! Oh, yeah, he wanted me to go to therapy” Stiles’ voice sounded angry, but he was scared.

“It could work” Derek said. Stiles looked at him hurt.

“Please, not you too! I don’t need anyone playing with my head. Once was enough, thanks” Stiles ran a hand through his hair. “How do you do it?” he asked Derek then.

“Do what?”

“Get your shit together. How do you do that?” It’s was almost like Stiles was begging Derek to give him an answer that would solve all his problems.

“You just try” mumbled Derek finally. Stiles looked at him frustrated. 

“That’s all?”

“Yupp”

“You just try?” he repeated.

“Yupp”

“Really”

“Yupp”

“Well, you’re a great creep, congratulations. But giving advices? You suck. No offense, buddy” Derek didn’t seem offended. He smiled and Stiles kind of did it too. 

“You asked” Derek shrugged.

“Shame on me, then” 

 

**xxxx.**

 

Of course, peace did not last long. 

Stiles felt sick sitting there while waiting. He hated hospitals. Will always do. 

“He’ll be fine, Stiles” Derek assured him.

“You don’t know that” 

“I’ve heard the doctors. They said it wasn’t so serious” 

“He had a heart attack, Derek” Stiles ran a hand over his face before he sighed. “I can’t lose him” he muttered looking at him. “My dad’s the only thing I got left. I can’t lose him too” Derek didn’t say anything else. He grabbed his wrist instead.

Stiles’ heart started to beat fast.

“You’re wrong” Derek said avoiding eye contact. His voice was deep. “You have Scott, Melissa, Isaac and Lydia” Derek swallowed. “And you also have me” Derek looked at him again and Stiles held his breath. He felt something in his chest that he didn’t have felt in a long time. He wanted to kiss Derek Hale.

“I guess” Stiles whispered licking his lips. He didn’t feel so worried. He felt secure, safe. He wasn’t completely recovered, but it was a start. A long road, but he knew he wasn’t alone. He had Derek. He would be okay. “You didn’t answer me, though”

“Answer what?” Derek raised his eyebrows. 

“Why do you care?” Stiles swallowed but didn’t look away. He couldn’t read Derek’s face, but the feeling in his chest became warmer.

“Why not?” It’s all Derek said, smiling softly. And that, for the moment, was enough for Stiles.

 


End file.
